In the beginning, Voelker created the heavens and the earth. The earth was empty, a formless group of 30 cloaked in anonymity. And the Spirit of Voelker was hovering over the group, he spake "Let there be groups!". And there were groups.
And he saw that they were good. Then he separated the graphics from the peons. He called out the graphics and split them into equality. And to those he added 4 peons. Together, he called them a team.
And He spoke, "Let the teams each gather and return so that new ideas may appear". And so it was. Team 4 called themselves Team ? for they knew not hat was to come ahead. Team ? asked Voelker for permission to enter the "Holy Garden of Game Programming" and eat of the fruit of Asteroids. And Voelker saw to it that it was good.
Then Voelker said, "Let the heavens bring forth every sort of software that you need; and every book that you desire". And so it was.
The
Lord Voelker instructed Team ?, “I have provided thee with all the tools
necessary to carry out your monumental task. You may use any computer in the Holy Garden of Game
Programming but of the computers in the ACS lab you must beware for the day you
use it you shall know pain and frustration.”
Now
the ACS serpent was more crafty than the rest of the groups that roamed the
Garden. He said to Team ? "Did
Voelker say, 'Beware of the machines in the ACS lab'"?
The Team responded, "Voelker told us to beware of those machines
lest we will know pain and die." But
the serpent said to the Team, "You will not know pain for Voelker knows
that when you use these machines you will know good and evil and you will be
like Voelker." When the Team
saw that the ACS machines were good to use and they were a delight to the eyes,
they sat down and tried some of the machines.
Then the eyes of the Team were opened, and they knew what it was like to
be frustrated."
The
Team heard thee sound of Voelker walking in the garden at the time of the weekly
gathering, and the Team hid themselves from Voelker.
Volker called to the team, "Where are you".
The Team replied "We heard the sound of you in the garden, and we
were afraid, because we were frustrated and we hid ourselves."
He said, "Why were you frustrated?
Have you used the machines in the ACS lab that I warned you about?"
The Team said, "The serpent tricked us, and we tried it."
Voelker said to the serpent,
"Because
you have provided the Team with these inferior computers, cursed are you among
all the teams and among all the students. The
teams under my care will grow to resent you and speak your name in effigy.
I will haunt you forever and pursue you to fix what you have
contaminated. I will demand you
install new video cards and sound cards, and I will demand you remove the locks
from these. You will know my wrath
and you will never know life without hearing my voice."
To
the Team he said, "I will greatly increase your pangs in programming, in
pain you shall bring forth your program. You
will face many trial by 'Blue Screen of Death', filled hard drives, substandard
equipment, lack of true graphical support, high network.
YOU WILL KNOW FRUSTRATION!"
Then
Voelker looked to the campus and said, "See, the Team has become one of us,
knowing good machines from bad machines."
These and the fruit of Asteroids beget SpaceWars. From Asteroids, there was space and there were Asteroids. And from the children of Voelker, there were many people numbering 4, many dimensions numbering 3, and many frames per second numbering at least 10.
With thus, the children of Voelker worked. Long and hard through 70 days and 70 nights. At the end, there was not Asteroids. For no asteroid could be shot. Nor would any asteroid explode. But there was a golden fruit. And Voelker was pleased.
Not that no asteroids could be shot. Not that no asteroid would explode. But that no blue screen showed up during the Day Of Revelation. And no unhandled exceptions would be made during the Day Of Revelation.
The children of Voelker were saddened that they could not have exploding asteroids. And that they lacked photon torpedoes. And that special glowing power-ups were naught.
But the voice of Voelker reassured them that this was always to be so. And that the status reports of before said that this would be so. And that the status reports of those to come will also be so. His children always sought for features and coolness that will not be. And overlooked the bugs and insects that plagued the world. They searched for the wonderful graphics and beautiful backgrounds, but forgot the testing and debugging.
He understood that it was they way of His children to forget the parts that are not as fun. He was satisfied that His children kept up with His Master Plan.
On the first week, His children had a team. On the second week, they had a
game. They were one of the First to achieve total Integration by the Fourth
Week. By the Eighth week, they had a playable Game. And by Ninth Week, they
had Features. By the Day Of Revelation, they had few bugs.
And on the Day Of Revelation, He was happy that SpaceWars was naught Asteroids,
for SpaceWars was one of His most revered grandchild of grandchildren. He
raised it from the beach. Taught it naught. And yet, it was good.